1. This song just about sums up the way I feel about trying to maintain any kind of adult relationship (friends/family/spouse) while having a chronic illness.  

    Not Meant To Be lyrics

    It’s never enough to say I’m sorry 
    It’s never enough to say I care 
    But I’m caught between what you wanted from me 
    And knowing that if I give that to you 
    I might just disappear 

    Nobody wins when everyone’s losing 

    It’s like one step forward and two steps back 
    No matter what I do you’re always mad 
    And I, I can’t change your mind 
    I know it’s like trying to turn around on one way street 
    I can’t give you what you want 
    And it’s killing me 
    And I, I’m starting to see 
    Maybe we’re not meant to be 

    It’s never enough to say I love you 
    No, it’s never enough to say I try 
    It’s hard to believe 
    That’s theres no way out for you and me 
    And it seems to be the story of our lives 

    Nobody wins when everyone’s losing 

    It’s like one step forward and two steps back 
    No matter what I do you’re always mad 
    (From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/t/theory-of-a-deadman-lyrics/not-meant-to-be-lyrics.html)
    And I, I can’t change your mind 
    I know it’s like trying to turn around on a one way street 
    I can’t give you what you want 
    And it’s killing me 
    And I, I’m starting to see 
    Maybe we’re not meant to be 

    There’s still time to turn this around 
    You could be building this up instead of tearing it down 
    But I keep thinking 
    Maybe it’s too late 

    It’s like one step forward and two steps back 
    No matter what I do you’re always mad 
    And I, I can’t change your mind 
    I know it’s like trying to turn around on a one way street 
    I can’t give you what you want 
    And it’s killing me 
    And I, I finally see 
    Maybe we’re not meant to be 

    It’s like one step forward and two steps back 
    No matter what I do you’re always mad 
    And I, baby I’m sorry to see 
    Maybe we’re not meant to be

  2. ADD or just Fibromyalgia

    I recently started using the Daytrana patch for suspected ADD.  I am not sure I have ADD only because I have read that this drug is also helpful for those with fibromyalgia.  Does anyone also use an ADD or ADHD med to manage fibro symptoms of brain fog, forgetfulness & organization?  It does help me significantly and my mood is much better and more stable…it makes the depression meds work better or helps them at least.

  3. Meds

    It just occurred to me that it might be helpful to someone to see what meds I am taking to compare with their own.  None of the heavy duty pain meds ever did anything for me and they usually don’t with fibro.  Tramadol (Ultram) is the only med I ever took that did anything and it just barely took the edge off when I was at my worst and does the same now.  It’s not as addicting as some of the other painkillers either.  I have suffered from depression my whole life but wasn’t diagnosed until my 30’s.  I take Wellbutrin and Lexapro and have done so for years.  My most recent addition medicine wise has been Daytrana which is a patch for ADD.  I am not convinced I have ADD even though it does help me focus because I have read that this med also helps fibromyalgia sufferers with brain fog etc…

    As long as I get enough sleep and pace myself well, my mini-eon device does a good job keeping the pain in check unless it’s winter.  The delayed food allergy avoidance diet and the anti-viral med (famvir) have made this my first winter since I was diagnosed that I actually do not feel like jumping off a bridge.  Winters are just totally unbearable but I have done much better this winter because of the treatment prescribed by Dr. Daniel Dantini (www.4fibromyalgia.com).

    Never ever give up looking for something that will help the cause of fibro…not just mask the symptoms.  Dr. Dantini’s program is the first thing I’ve seen that addresses the cause of fibro and I encourage you to check out his program if you feel you are at the end of your rope as I did.  The man has fibro himself and has for 30 years - he knows his stuff and treating fibro is his passion.

    To health….

  4. Our New Home - Fibromyalgia has me moving from freezing cold NH to central sunny, warm Florida!

    Our New Home - Fibromyalgia has me moving from freezing cold NH to central sunny, warm Florida!

  5. Patient Video after Neurostimulator Trial with Dr. Greenspan in 2008

    Video my doc took after my trial and I went on to have the permanent device implanted.  It has been two years and I continue to have relief from pain although not 100% - but the best part is my sleep has improved 100000% - if possible.  Interesting note - check out this page of his site…HE quotes ME - but refers to it generically as “I hear my patients say this all the time”…..HA!  Thanks Doc!

    “Get Your Life Back” at PainCare. Listen…

    http://www.painmd.com/   audio file on page

  6. Dr. Dantini’s Treatment

    When I was first diagnosed with fibromyalgia, I saw a Rheumatologist who did nothing for me for almost 2 years.  In desperation, I looked for something else and found Dr. Greenspan and his Occipital Neuromodulator.  Luckily, I was approved for the treatment and improved greatly but after two years, I was still upset that I still had so many fibro symptoms that have nothing to do with pain - like the fog and extreme tiredness.  I stumbled upon Dr. Dantini’s site and decided this had to be the answer to the rest of the equation.  I booked a flight and went to Florida to see him and begin treatment.  It has been a year since I first saw him and it has been a huge improvement over my best days before I started his treatment.  I never would have thought that a virus and food sensitivities could be an underlying cause of fibromyalgia.  Now, I am treating the cause and not just masking the symptoms.  God bless Dr. Dantini too!

    http://www.4fibromyalgia.com/treatment.html

About me

Mom of 4 gorgeous girls

D - 22 (currently lives and works in Japan)

Z - 12 - 7th grade, towering, techno-addict

S - 6 - 1st grade self proclaimed future veterinarian

L - 5 - Kindergarten - affectionately referred to as the "Cavewoman" - You understand this completely if you know her! My only preemie - born at 30 weeks gestation due to my having toxemia. You'd NEVER know she was less than 3 lbs. at birth! Gee - having two babies in 2 years at the age of 42 didn't have anything to do with that - you think??

I lived all over the world as a USAF brat and served as an Officer myself for 7 years.

We currently live in the US and I have been married for 14 years to a younger (than me) Morrocan import (Ha! He's also a Techno-Geek).

We have a home in Sidi Ifni, Morocco that I have never seen due to my inability to endure the trip due to my illness. I have been unable to visit my oldest daughter in Japan for the same reason.

I suffer from fibromyalgia, depression, SAD, and possibly ADD (Like I need another affliction at my age!).

I battled obesity my entire life and had a gastric bypass way back in 2000 before it became a popular option for the morbidly obese to regain their health. I have tended to be a human guinea pig and try things to improve my health before they catch on.

I have a passion for getting my kids the education they deserve no matter what it takes (Ask me about MY version of homeschooling a high school age girl who had never been challenged in school).

My oldest entered college at 15, graduated as top student at a prestigious private women's college in the south at 20. I never pushed her - she pushed herself, I just supported her desire to get ahead and made sure it happened. One down and three to go....no matter what it takes...one by one...

My current goal in life is to get myself as healthy as humanly possible so I can raise my kids with joy instead of the sorrow I have felt these last few years. Secondly, to reconnect with my husband who has not really been able to understand my illness and how (or why) it affects me on a daily basis. Thirdly, travel, travel, travel.....

My kids hear very often that if you have your health, you have everything you need because without your health you can enjoy nothing.

To health and happiness........